Ayden: I think I saw what I’m going to be.
Dapper Man 41: That’s Destiny.
Ayden: And if I don’t want it?
Dapper Man 41: That’s choice.
Ayden: So what’s the point of having one if the other could happen? Which one is right?
Dapper Man 41: That, my dear boy, is life.
– Return of the Dapper Men –
Ed. Note: Raven recently introduced me to the above excerpt from the graphic novel The Return of the Dapper Men (disclaimer: non-affiliate link), and it so intrigued me, that I asked if she wouldn’t mind writing another guest post on the subject of Destiny.
Maybe it’s because of where I am, personally – studying spirituality and questioning religion; maybe it’s because everything is ready to change again and I don’t know whether to be happy for those changes or afraid of them. Or maybe it’s because of a combination of these things, maybe it’s because I’m simply questioning my place in the world, my purpose, finally feeling like I’m on my way to finding it and at the same time wondering if it’s right at all.
Whatever the reasons, I have questions. I’m only just beginning to understand what destiny — fate, life — means to me, but I want to know…
What does it mean to you?
* * * * *
Have you ever had one of those moments when you are going about your day doing your thing, then you walk into a room and cannot remember why the hell you are there in the first place? You’re wondering how you ended up there. You don’t know. You’re just there.
Next thing you know, your fiancé is asking why you are standing in the bathroom with a bag of kitty litter and a roll of packaging tape.
I try to avoid having moments like these. It makes me think I’m getting old. Or, I don’t take enough vitamins. Or something else, I forget.
But you can’t avoid forgetting. It sneaks up on you and then –hey- you forgot something. And, you can’t remember, so it couldn’t have been that important in the first place, right?
I think that’s a bit of how destiny works. It comes up on you out of the blue. You are going through the motions of life – then boom, you’re just like your Dad. And, you don’t even know how that even happened. You were doing everything to avoid being just like him, weren’t you?
Or, maybe you’re destined to be miserable because you are doing everything to avoid being happy – but you can’t remember how to be happy because you’ve been perfecting the art of miserable since you were a teenager.
So, how can something so important as destiny be like forgetting? I guess it comes with the distractions we call choices. Are choices really distractions? We can choose to avoid our destiny by making different choices. But if destiny is like forgetting – simple lost memories – are we just distracting ourselves by saying we chose to be another way? Destiny puts us in unfamiliar spots. Then come the inevitable questions, “How did I get here? Am I on the right path?”
We search for a reason as to why we’re there in the first place. After we can’t find answers, we leave. We try not to come back to that unfamiliar spot. It’s scary because we don’t know what we’re doing. But then, we eventually return with a reason and (remembered) intent.
People don’t like their destiny being reasonless.
Perhaps it was my destiny to write this post for you. Susan asked me to write about something else since my first guest post was kind of crap, but she was kind enough to post it anyway. I don’t think I’m destined to write crappy posts (at least not all the time), but I do think I was destined to write something new.
So, I want to finish this post before I forget to tell you something else important. Destiny might be more like coming to a conclusion and remembering the reason why you’re there.
About the Author: Raven Moore is a writing and editing professional living in Chicago, IL. She blogs about lifestyle and career at The Writerbabe Series. You can find her on twitter or spending time correcting old typos in her blog posts.
Raven is taking part in a two-month guest series featuring writers across the blogosphere here on twenty(or)something while this blog takes a brief hiatus. Want to chat? Email me at twentyorsomething [at] gmail.com or say hi on Twitter!