I’m falling in love again…
Falling head-first, maddeningly in love.
Oh, it’s not a guy. And, no, it’s not a new puppy. And it’s not even the house — my house — the house where I sometimes find myself wandering from room to room in awe that something could have fit so perfectly into my world, into my life.
No, this time it’s not a guy, or a dog, or the house…
But it still makes me smile each morning as I wake to the sun peeking through the blinds:
Good morning, sunshine.
And it makes my heart beat faster as I laugh with neighbors and good friends:
And it takes my breath away as I step outside, longing to capture the rich colors of the trees, the leaves, to savor every sweet moment and embrace the little wonders that wander along:
I’ve missed you.
I’ve been hiding for so long, so afraid of loss that I’d forgotten how much I have already and what more there is to gain.
I’ve been so busy trying to figure out life and love and why that it never occurred to me that life is love right now.
And I’ve been so paralyzed by self-doubt and insecurity, so busy questioning my own self-worth, that I’d almost lost that spark, lost that fire, lost the very parts of myself that make me whole:
And now, that passion is coming alive again for reasons I can’t explain, forcing feelings I can scarcely describe.
But something is changing, understanding is growing, and I’m still learning…
Understanding nothing needs to change in this moment. Acknowledging that everything can change in an instant. Knowing it will still be alright, that Time can be our greatest enemy or the kindest friend.
Anticipation at what’s to come and finally, finally, learning peace for what is now.
Forgiving the past for being only the past; accepting an uncertain future as tomorrow’s only present.
Finding hope around every corner, discovering beauty in every reflection, casting light against those shadows…
Believing in you, believing in me.
Believing in this:
I’m falling in love again.
Falling head-first, maddeningly in love with life.