The Love We Take, The Love We Make

by Susan Pogorzelski on June 24, 2010 · 10 comments

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” - The Beatles

I posted this quote on Twitter tonight, the words lingering in the corners of my mind, the idea of loving and being loved in return haunting my thoughts these past couple of days…

Some people adhere to the idea of karma — that you get back what you put out into the world. Positive enforces the positive, just as negativity breeds more negativity. Once upon a time, I found this theory hard to fathom, beautiful though it sounded. Yet now, after having witnessed it for myself these past few months and years, I certainly believe in this cyclic balance.

But what about when it comes to love? Does the love that you put out into the world really come back to you?

For so many years, I questioned this. I’ve loved and I’ve lost, and through learning to open my heart and love again — unconditionally, without preconceptions, without fear– I’ve realized that there is so much truth in such simple words.

While I have been foolishly wondering when romantic love would once again make its way into my life, I’d been ignoring the many other forms that have wandered in. It’s easy to forget what love really means; it’s easier, still, to keep blindly looking for what has been there all along. Love isn’t just romance. Love is friendship, love is family, love is the animals we care for. Love is a passion, a dream, a life-changing moment.

Love is everywhere if we choose to look hard enough.

What you put out into the world really is what comes back to you, though we can never imagine — or expect — what form it will take when it does.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Positively Present June 25, 2010

Love really IS everywhere if we look around for it. (Have you seen Love Actually? That movie really demonstrates that concept…) When the focus of our culture is so heavily centered on romantic forms of love, it can be hard to remember that love really is everywhere, if only we open our minds and hearts to it. Another great post, Susan!

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Susan Pogorzelski June 30, 2010

Dani: Here’s where I admit that I’ve tried and tried and tried to watch Love, Actually, but I just can’t get into it. For you, maybe I’ll try again, but there’s just something about it. Think it’s kind of like A Christmas Story for me…Everyone I know loves it and I hate it.

Now, the message behind Love, Actually, I adore. It’s true that our culture is so focused on romantic love, isn’t it? When I was in France, I learned the value of independence– I went to cafes by myself, for walks by myself…I even took that trip by myself. And yet, everything from dinner to movies to getaways here is set for groups of two or more. The thought of being together and sharing these things with someone is absolutely beautiful. But I think I’ve learned so much more about myself by realizing that love isn’t just romantic. There’s loving family, loving friends, and loving yourself.

That last one is the biggie — the one that sometimes it takes a lifetime to learn.

I can only hope that more people would see the love that’s right around them. I love your comments, Dani…They always get me thinking about the subject in a different light! Thanks!

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Elisa June 25, 2010

The scariest part of romantic love (for me) is the putting yourself out there. I have never been the first to say “I love you,” rarely discuss my feelings and tend to shrug off closeness with coy playfulness. My family, in fact, will joke that when things get too emotioney or real (in any situation) I shut down. Generally they’ll say “Uh oh, too real” or “Too. Much. Feeling.”

I realized recently that this comes from a long while of being conditioned to put my feelings and emotions and heart out for peopl and not receive the reciprocation. This is most likely from dating or liking people that were never going to be capable of that in the first place. Still, each time it happens it almost seems to add another brick to the wall. That popular wall that keeps people out.

But unfortunately I know all too well that the wall keeps you in too.

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Susan Pogorzelski June 30, 2010

Elisa: I can completely understand where you are coming from. I think, for me, a lot of that being closed off, why it takes such a long while to be completely open and myself with people, is because of that similar fear. I’m finding that the more time that passes wherein I rely on myself and only myself, the more I find it difficult to put…I don’t know exactly what to call it. Trust? Faith? in others. Trust that they’ll feel the same way towards you. Faith that it won’t lead to more hurt and more loss. You’re absolutely right — it’s scary to put your heart on the line, to bare your soul, when you can’t control the outcome.

Walls are so easy to build and harder to tear down because it’s experience that’s the brick and mortar. It’s hard to find someone who is willing (and able — as you so correctly say) to reciprocate those feelings — maybe that’s what makes it so special when you do.

I’m beginning to think, more and more, that everyone has a wall. Maybe it varies in thickness or height, but I think everyone has something that we hide behind, as experience has taught us.

Maybe that’s the thing, too — maybe it takes a lifetime of experiences building one on top of another to knock that wall down. Whatever the reason, however it works, I hope that wall lets a little light in to you…And a lot of your light and love out to the rest of the world. You have a good heart — too good to be sheltered away. I know fear all too well, but I also know that there are those who will love you for everything you have to offer and we can’t hold ourselves back.

Keep knocking down those walls, Elisa.

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Farouk August 11, 2010

i like your writing style, keep it up :)

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Susan Pogorzelski August 16, 2010

Thank you, Farouk! I appreciate the comment :)

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