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Two years ago, I doubt I could have imagined what my life would look like now.

Six months ago, I never could have envisioned the happiness that has been filling my soul with every sunrise, every smile.

Life has changed dramatically in just a short amount of time, and as fond of reflection as I am, I am all the more aware of just how much I’ve changed along with it.  During the winter months, I faced some of the darkest, most emotional moments I’d ever experienced. But, upon looking back, I’ve learned that light casts away the dark, good replaces the bad, and life is constantly moving forward (I’m pretty sure this is one of the laws of the Universe, right?).

Once upon a time, I mentioned that I wanted this year to be an awakening for me. I’d spent two years healing from five consecutive, permanent losses, while also coping with a loss of self-worth and questioning my place in the world. It had been an incredible journey — one, I’ve realized, is still only beginning.

A huge personal change is happening in my life right now —  a positive change — and I’ve never felt more excitement or anticipation. One of my many dreams is coming true, step by step, day by day. I’m not quite ready to divulge it to the masses quite yet, as it’s still a bit up in the air, but we’re moving forward, and when the time comes, I promise I will be excited to share it with all of you.

In the meantime, this real-life situation has been occupying my mind and leaving little room for any contemplative writing. Oh, I still have a thousand what ifs racing through there and some more character flaws to dissect and a dozen more questions to ask of the Universe…But for now, just a simple “Thanks, Universe…Looks like all those tootsie rolls are paying off” will have to do.

The blog may have been a bit more silent than usual, but I hope that you’ll hang in there with me. In the meantime, I want to hear from you! Summer plans, life changes, stories about your dog…I want to hear all about the important happenings in your life.

Today, I hope you’ll tell me your story.

11 thoughts on “This Page Intentionally Left Blank”

  1. Oh Susan, I’m keeping you and your “huge personal change” in my thoughts and prayers! Things haven’t been the best for you in the past few months, but things can only get better from here – and it sounds like that is EXACTLY what is happening!!

    I completely understand the want/need to keep things under wraps until everything is in place, but I’m still really excited to hear about the wonderful things that are going on with you! I’ve missed your posts 🙂

    I’m glad things are on the up and up; looking forward to hearing all about this exciting thing going on with you!

    Oh, and in response to your final paragraph:

    Summer plans: stay as cool as possible, set up nursery, go on vacay to the Outer Banks (T minus 11 days!!) and work on posting more to my blogs.

    Life changes: holy crap, I’m having a baby. Pretty major change 😉

    Stories about my dog: sadly, I don’t have any pets at the moment. What I do have is a ton of bunnies and squirrels who hang out in my backyard. They’re doing well – enjoying the leaves from the vegetable garden my husband planted 🙂

    1. Meghan — Thank you so much! It’s amazing how much has changed in the past six months — it’s amazing to realize how much I have changed. I’ve gone from crying every single day to smiling and laughing…It feels huge, it feels good, it finally feels right. Thanks for sticking around through all of that — I definitely couldn’t get by without the support of all of you guys. 🙂

      But you’re right — when you’re down, there’s only one way to go. And things have definitely started looking up. I still have a lot on my mind — a lot of questions that I want answered and some reflection to do, but real life has gotten a bit chaotic that I feel like I’ve neglected this blog. Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon and I can resume questioning (cursing at? bribing?) the Universe soon enough 😉

      Onto your exciting news! I’m so excited for you and your family! How are you feeling, what are your plans, do you want to be surprised? So many exciting things and so much love to you! And you’re forgiven for not having a dog…You’re having a baby, after all 🙂 But every little boy or girl needs to grow up with a dog — at least, that’s my personal philosophy =P

      That’s the biggest change of them all and I’m so very happy for you! Enjoy your vacation and keep me posted!

      1. I’m so glad things are looking up for you! Sounds like all the changes have been positive ones and moving forward will be fun and exciting for you 🙂

        Baby stuff!! It’s been a rough pregnancy, but I keep reminding myself that it will be TOTALLY worth it in the end 😀 As for our plans…we’re still working on stuff. Definitely still need to get the nursery ready. But we have time for that, haha, or at least that’s what we keep telling ourselves. Ohhhh and we found out we’re having a little girl 🙂 It’s a really exciting time, if a little chaotic, and we’re so thankful for all the love and support we’re getting from family and friends! Will definitely continue to keep everyone posted!

        1. You’re having a little girl?! I know you’ve probably heard this a thousand times already, but awww! I’m so thrilled for you two and your little sweetheart! Please do keep us posted — all my love and thoughts to you and your new family 🙂

  2. Ahhhhh!!! I know the secret and I am so excited for you and so happy for you and I can’t wait for you to “divulge it to the masses.” But, until you do, I will just bounce up and down in my chair with barely contained happiness for someone who deserves all the happiness in the world. Smile big, Susan!

    1. Yes you do!!! And I can’t wait to share the news with everyone, but I’m still in that superstitious “it’s not a done deal so I’m afraid I’ll jinx it phase.” Though I’m not doing so well with keeping this secret. Doh. =P

      Thanks, Kris! A bunch of squeeing will inevitable ensue very soon! Wishes of love and happiness is doubly returned to you!

  3. Oh Susan, wish I knew what the secret was, but I’m sure its exciting!

    My summer plans are lots of reading and writing and maybe a tiny, tiny bit of traveling. Probably only an hour or two’s drive, just enough to get away and spend some time with some books, do some thinking and maybe some writing as well.

    What are your summer plans, hmm?

    1. It’s exciting and seems to be opening up another chapter in my life — like I said to Kris, I’m still almost afraid to say anything, but we’re moving forward. Can’t wait to share the news with you, thanks, Tom! 🙂

      And lots of reading, writing, and traveling sounds like the perfect summer to me! As long as that includes a trip to Lancaster, right? =P It sounds like there are some beautiful areas up there that can provide the serenity and reflection you’re looking for — you’ll have to let me know what you find and, of course, what’s on your reading list 🙂

  4. The past 12 months have been a learning experience for me as well. I’m not aging (cause my momma told me not to), but I’m maturing. I’ve experienced extreme loss, confusion, and been thrown into drama that I would have never guessed would happen to me. But it’s all because I began opening up my isolated heart and taking chances. Recently, I learned that drama goes away if you’re straight forward and then let it go. Recently, I decided that my time is worth money and I actually sold my services instead of giving them away. The contrasts in this past year have shaken me…and taught me. I couldn’t be more thankful. Can’t wait to hear your exciting news!

    1. Becky: I love this comment, just as I love all of your thoughts and insights. You seem to take all of your experiences — even if they are negative — and see the lesson in it. As hard as experience is, as difficult as it may be to separate yourself from it all, you seem to be able to offer a fresh perspective on it while coming away a little bit wiser from having gone through it.

      That’s not to say that I wish loss, confusion, or drama on anyone — but I am glad that you can find some positive in that. It makes you think that maybe there is a reason for it, after all. It sounds like you’re growing — in all aspects of your life — and that is so beautiful to read! I hope that I can follow your example and “open up my own isolated heart” and take chances. I don’t know your story, Becky, but I am so, so proud of you and happy to hear this!

      And, as a side note, I love the design of your blog!

      Keep going, keep growing… 🙂 Thanks for reading!

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