Thanks, Brianne, for being here. I do hope that people will take you up on your offer to talk; I’m looking forward to keeping in touch with you as well.

Wishing you the very best.

“…shutting people out and shutting new things out in order to preserve this need for independence and my own strength”

I think my thoughts are two-fold. While I want to be open to the idea of love, you articulated my very hesitation. I’d only just rediscovered myself, and now it will be a journey to rediscover myself with someone else. It’s exciting, though. I’m looking forward to seeing where it all leads. But I can’t help but wonder where independence ends and dependence begins. Would look forward to hearing how you did that with your husband…

Thanks for the comment and thanks, as always, for stopping by. We really should plan a time to talk sometime!

Insecurity breeds anxiety and stress and as much as I don’t like pharmaceuticals (considering I work for a contract research organization that tests these pharmaceuticals, it’s quite ironic), I am contemplating a visit to the doctor for a mild anti-anxiety medication.

I know that I have a lot to give if I could block out the background noise and focus on what is important to me, not to others. I always have hope no matter how many times it’s been ripped from me; somehow, hope is always a constant in my life.

I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few years of my “existential dilemma”, so to speak. I am funny and inspiring, snarky and strong. But most of all, I am just me…and there’s only one of me (and only one of you, as well), so that’s pretty damned special in my book. And on days like today when I can remember that, it’s a good day. As you know, some days are better than others.

On the not-so-good days, I allow myself to wallow and cry it out because if I don’t feel it and own it, it always simmers below the surface. The more you push it away, the more it springs back at you. So on those days when all you want to do is cry and feel your pain, feel it. A good, hard cry is therapeutic and necessary to get the anxious energy out and make room for more healthy and calming things in your life.

Never be ashamed to feel your feelings and to be scared. As you said, if someone says they don’t have insecurities, they are full of it. It is also true that if someone says they’re not scared of anything, that is a lie. We all have fears and we all have insecurities. But we all have hopes and dreams too.

Today, and every day, I hope you are filled with hopes and dreams.

P.S. I would love to speak to anyone that wants to chat. I can be reached a number of ways but my online business card that lists the most popular is: http://card.ly/bevillano

-Brianne