Comments on: Life Is What Happens http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/ tonight we drink to youth. Wed, 28 Jul 2010 02:01:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Susan Pogorzelski - admin http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/comment-page-1/#comment-5079 Susan Pogorzelski - admin Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:31:44 +0000 http://twentyorsomething.com/?p=1790#comment-5079 <b>Sarah:</b> I completely, completely agree. We're in a time of now -- not just our generation, but our society as a whole. Convenience, ease, time-efficiency are the things that are valued. It doesn't help that success at younger and younger ages are heralded, or that success period is quantified in amounts of money or valuables. As such, it makes us a little crazy at times, concerned when it's not happening on our set timeline, makes you think you're missing something or, worse, that you've somehow completely failed. I've said this before that we're on our own path and we have our own timeline -- I get that, understand that, recognize that. But there are times where it never really sinks in because I think I'm ready for it. Only, maybe I'm not really ready for it at all. It's a shame that our smaller successes seem to be eclipsed, so competitive have we become in wanting to be the first/best. I hope I remember what is important, to recognize everything I've done, to work hard but not to push myself. And I'm glad that I have you to give me that reality check when I so need it. Thanks, Sarah -- for these words and for your friendship. Just in case I don't say it enough :) Sarah: I completely, completely agree. We’re in a time of now — not just our generation, but our society as a whole. Convenience, ease, time-efficiency are the things that are valued. It doesn’t help that success at younger and younger ages are heralded, or that success period is quantified in amounts of money or valuables. As such, it makes us a little crazy at times, concerned when it’s not happening on our set timeline, makes you think you’re missing something or, worse, that you’ve somehow completely failed. I’ve said this before that we’re on our own path and we have our own timeline — I get that, understand that, recognize that. But there are times where it never really sinks in because I think I’m ready for it. Only, maybe I’m not really ready for it at all. It’s a shame that our smaller successes seem to be eclipsed, so competitive have we become in wanting to be the first/best. I hope I remember what is important, to recognize everything I’ve done, to work hard but not to push myself. And I’m glad that I have you to give me that reality check when I so need it. Thanks, Sarah — for these words and for your friendship. Just in case I don’t say it enough :)

]]> By: Susan Pogorzelski - admin http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/comment-page-1/#comment-5078 Susan Pogorzelski - admin Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:31:19 +0000 http://twentyorsomething.com/?p=1790#comment-5078 <b>Dani:</b> I'm actually glad that so much time has passed since this post because it has really given me the chance to think about your comment, which I love. Truth be told, you're becoming a positive example for me. For a little while now, although I've essentially "rediscovered" myself and am not in the same place as I was a few short months ago, I still find myself sometimes a bit lost in terms of trying to do for others and take care of myself. I'm really trying to not worry so much about what others think (a huge insecurity that stems from wanting to find others happy). I've learned, and am still in the process of learning, that thing called self-responsibility. And that it doesn't just apply to me but that others have to be responsible for their own actions, their own reactions, and that we have a responsibility to ourselves first and foremost. Thanks! Dani: I’m actually glad that so much time has passed since this post because it has really given me the chance to think about your comment, which I love. Truth be told, you’re becoming a positive example for me. For a little while now, although I’ve essentially “rediscovered” myself and am not in the same place as I was a few short months ago, I still find myself sometimes a bit lost in terms of trying to do for others and take care of myself. I’m really trying to not worry so much about what others think (a huge insecurity that stems from wanting to find others happy). I’ve learned, and am still in the process of learning, that thing called self-responsibility. And that it doesn’t just apply to me but that others have to be responsible for their own actions, their own reactions, and that we have a responsibility to ourselves first and foremost. Thanks!

]]> By: Susan Pogorzelski - admin http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/comment-page-1/#comment-5077 Susan Pogorzelski - admin Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:30:59 +0000 http://twentyorsomething.com/?p=1790#comment-5077 <b>Amanda:</b> I love your comment because it's so simple and so true. It really does force you to prioritize because eventually something has to give. I think I'm beginning to realize that, realizing that I can say no and it won't be the end of opportunity (or the world, imagine that!). There's only so much opportunity and responsibility you can take on before you hit that inevitable breaking point. I hope that I'm beginning to learn, as you have, what is really necessary and what isn't. Sorry this has been so delayed, but thanks, Amanda! <b>Tom:</b> Rambly comments are always ok :) I love your goals -- they seem doable and healthy and that's always a positive thing. But I do hear you about that feeling guilty part when you miss it, even only once. In some small way, it feels like you're giving up. In some small way, it might even feel like a bit of a failure because you couldn't keep up with it. To go along with what Amanda says above, your thoughts are interesting and I'd never thought about it this way before -- maybe breaking (or needing a break) really does go to show what you want vs. what you think you want, as you say. Maybe I do need to reevaluate some things before I am able to move forward in taking care of others and myself. You've got me thinking, Tom. Thanks for that! Here's hoping we can both learn what we want vs. what we think we want. Amanda: I love your comment because it’s so simple and so true. It really does force you to prioritize because eventually something has to give. I think I’m beginning to realize that, realizing that I can say no and it won’t be the end of opportunity (or the world, imagine that!). There’s only so much opportunity and responsibility you can take on before you hit that inevitable breaking point. I hope that I’m beginning to learn, as you have, what is really necessary and what isn’t. Sorry this has been so delayed, but thanks, Amanda!

Tom: Rambly comments are always ok :) I love your goals — they seem doable and healthy and that’s always a positive thing. But I do hear you about that feeling guilty part when you miss it, even only once. In some small way, it feels like you’re giving up. In some small way, it might even feel like a bit of a failure because you couldn’t keep up with it. To go along with what Amanda says above, your thoughts are interesting and I’d never thought about it this way before — maybe breaking (or needing a break) really does go to show what you want vs. what you think you want, as you say. Maybe I do need to reevaluate some things before I am able to move forward in taking care of others and myself. You’ve got me thinking, Tom. Thanks for that! Here’s hoping we can both learn what we want vs. what we think we want.

]]> By: Susan Pogorzelski - admin http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/comment-page-1/#comment-5030 Susan Pogorzelski - admin Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:23:13 +0000 http://twentyorsomething.com/?p=1790#comment-5030 I haven't been able to comment individually yet, but I do want to let everyone know that I've read your comments and am so grateful for your support, your advice, and you sharing your own experiences. I'll be sure to reply as soon as I'm able. Thanks everyone! I haven’t been able to comment individually yet, but I do want to let everyone know that I’ve read your comments and am so grateful for your support, your advice, and you sharing your own experiences. I’ll be sure to reply as soon as I’m able. Thanks everyone!

]]> By: Sarah http://twentyorsomething.com/2009/10/21/life-is-what-happens/comment-page-1/#comment-5023 Sarah Mon, 26 Oct 2009 01:13:34 +0000 http://twentyorsomething.com/?p=1790#comment-5023 Maybe there's a balance, and maybe there's the fact that we sometimes have to take baby steps before we can run. I think that our generation is too absorbed with wanting it all right NOW that we forget that sometimes the gratification comes from working towards something. If taking on responsibilities is too much for right now, then scale back. Load up again when you're feeling better, but be cautious not to push yourself. Work up slowly to having it all by testing yourself and what you can handle. Recognize what you need and who can help you get there and make it happen. And be aware that sometimes it's okay to fail. How else are we supposed to learn? Maybe there’s a balance, and maybe there’s the fact that we sometimes have to take baby steps before we can run. I think that our generation is too absorbed with wanting it all right NOW that we forget that sometimes the gratification comes from working towards something.

If taking on responsibilities is too much for right now, then scale back. Load up again when you’re feeling better, but be cautious not to push yourself. Work up slowly to having it all by testing yourself and what you can handle. Recognize what you need and who can help you get there and make it happen. And be aware that sometimes it’s okay to fail. How else are we supposed to learn?

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