Half my life’s in books’ written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages…
Dream until your dream comes true…
Aerosmith, “Dream On”
I never felt more powerful than when I was in France. Yes, I was incredibly homesick and this blog was often the outlet for those many (many) emotions I encountered, but there was something tucked away under the surface there, something strong, something incredible, something that left me breathless, made me feel alive.
It was a dream being realized. Now, it’s a yearning for something more.
One of the writers I met at the retreat is a fantastic new friend and inspiration for me. For almost a year she’s been traveling around Europe and experiencing what I was able to only briefly: drinking in beauty, soaking up inspiration, and discovering the magic in people, nature, and the world. For three weeks, I was lucky to share in that freedom, that creative inspiration of another country; for three weeks, I was on my own journey to rediscover my passion, my self-reliance, myself.
And now I so long to hold onto that.
The beautiful thing about dreams is that you never have just one. While one dream was realized, it gave way to another, greater one, one that has filled me with a longing to return: to experience, to meet, to discover and rediscover.
I’ve realized that I’m not ready to settle down; I feel unsatisfied, somewhat incomplete. There’s a longing, a calling me back to do more, see more, find more. Only I don’t know how to get there, how to reach it, how to answer.
Is this what having a dream is all about? Something to strive for, yet not really ever attainable? Is it a small piece of hope that keeps you moving, one foot in front of the other, yet always one step behind?
I don’t know if I’ll ever attain this dream, fulfill that longing. However, I do know that I appreciate the experiences I’ve had so far, the people I’ve met, this life I’ve led. It’s the journey that’s the adventure, and what I’m looking for is so simple, so natural, so beautiful, that I may just find it where I least expected it.
I’ve come a long, long way from where I was, and while there’s still so far I want to go, I know, in the end, I’ll get to where I’m meant to be, with my dream moving me forward.