Comments on: Nowhere Man

By: Defygravity84

Defygravity84 — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:59:18 +0000

I love your post, but I wanted you to know that the photo perfectly describes how I feel right now. Ugh!

Roommate! It’s a pretty crappy roller coaster of a road, isn’t it? I think if we just learn to take one hill at a time, to accelerate and break at the right moments, we’ll get through it free and clear… – Susan

By: Mathieu Ayel

Mathieu Ayel — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:29:13 +0000

I can really relate to what you describe.

And your thoughts made me first think of the fine balance between blissfull self-awareness and being too critical of oneself.

Also the “others”to which you may compare yourself, the facebooks and myspaces where accomplishments are trumpeted; they could be a truthfull mirror, a fountain of motivation and emotional energy. I know I have friends like this around me that don’t just provide a measure against my achievements but also help me build and grow. Maybe I haven’t build these relationships yet online.You made me think that I should try to find and cultivate these mirrors in my online family too and not just share and compare. I think I am going off topic.

Merci tout de meme!

Mathieu – I truly appreciate this comment because your words (“the fine balance between blissfull self-awareness and being too critical of oneself”) ring so true and was exactly what I had found myself facing. It seemed to me that I had somehow crossed that line from personal development to overall, negative criticism, which ultimately led to low self-esteem and a general feeling of defeat. That is treading territory that I would hate to find myself in, as it’s detrimental to every facet of oneself. I think that self-awareness is one of the greatest gifts we can have as humans because it not only allows you to better yourself but, hopefully, allows you to become more aware of the people around you — I liken it to a connective effect: if you take the step to understanding yourself, you can begin to understand other people, and understanding is, I’ve found, one of the greatest links we have to each other.

But it’s my turn to digress…I’ll get back on topic: I like how you say that these comparisons can be used as a positive motivator and I believe that to be true when you have formed strong, solid relationships, as it seems you have. Could you expand a bit more upon this thought? I’m curious to hear what else you have to say.

In the meantime, thanks again for your insight. – Susan

By: Jessica Ayers

Jessica Ayers — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:30:58 +0000

I understand right where you are!

It seems like that perfect ten-year plan that we come up with never works out just right, and I’m talking about the big milestones, not just the details. All the resulting confusion is the most frustrating feeling in the world.

Keep blogging and thanks for the encouragement that I’m not the only one!

Jessica — I hate the fact that you’re stuck feeling the same way because it’s such a frustrating place to be. But at the same time, I’m grateful that others can relate. It’s so interesting to me because as a child, you’re instructed to plan — plan for college, plan for your career — and you’re right — no matter what plan you make for yourself, it’s hardly ever how you imagine it, and that’s disappointing and daunting in so many ways. I guess the only way to handle it is to pick up the pieces, remember to believe in yourself, and just continue on. It’s hard to remind yourself that you’re on your own path, especially when your plans change and you feel somewhat like you’ve failed, but it’s a huge lesson that I hope I’m ready to learn.

The very best of luck to you — I hope you find a way to make sense of the confusion. – Susan